TransActual
I let the nurse persuade me to make an appointment for a check up and went along to the trans specific clinic. I live in London so actually had a choice of two trans specific clinics to go to. I think it being a trans specific clinic made it better somehow. I didn’t have that fear of being misgendered, judged or pitied. I knew that my genitals wouldn’t faze them. There is no way I would have gone to my GP surgery for a smear.
I have friends beside me who know me mostly just by my name, and a loving partner who sees me beyond such labels and celebrates me for who I am. And when I am pushed towards the feeling that my lack of pronoun favouritism renders me somehow invalid or incomplete, these social supports are enough for me.
I don’t want to become another statistic because someone thinks that they have the right to treat me however they see fit – whether that’s because I’m transgender or because I’m a woman.
They will never understand the sense of grief I have for the body I should have been born with, the childhood I should have had, the adolescence I should have had. That life in my mid-20s that I’m doing over again in my mid-30s. That first operation that I needed because my body changed in puberty in ways it shouldn’t have.
I’ve known some online forms to literally only give 2 options for gender. It’s paralysing. Hovering over those two alien concepts. It’s almost worse when they add a third, ‘prefer not to say’ choice. As though anyone who doesn’t fit neatly into one of the binary options should be embarrassed about it; as if it’s something we must want to hide. No, I DON’T ‘prefer not to say’; I prefer to have my enbyness recognised.
Local Radio broadcasting is a perfect venue to share that knowledge and experience. My programme, ‘The Rachel Oliver Show’, on Sonder Radio Manchester is firmly aimed at the transgender community and specifically with our allies and friends in mind. It’s a station essentially for the mature population of over 50s and is enjoyed by people of all ages.