by Dáithí Clayton, Aalter, Belgium
Forgiveness can be a challenging concept, especially when faced with the scars of transphobic bullying and the complexities of dementia. However, it holds immense power, not only for the individual but for society as a whole.
For trans/nonbinary people living with dementia, forgiveness can serve as a healing balm for wounds that run deep. It is an act of self-compassion, a way to release the burden of anger and resentment that weighs heavily on the heart. In forgiving their bullies, haters, TERFs (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists), and gender critical tormentors, trans/nonbinary people with dementia reclaim agency over their own narrative, refusing to be defined by the hurt inflicted upon them.
Moreover, forgiveness is not synonymous with condoning or excusing the actions of those who have caused harm. Rather, it is a radical act of liberation—a refusal to be bound by the chains of bitterness and vengeance. By extending forgiveness, trans/nonbinary people with dementia transcend the limitations imposed by their oppressors, reclaiming their power and autonomy in the process.
In the context of dementia, forgiveness takes on added significance. As memories fade and identities blur, holding onto grudges becomes increasingly futile. Forgiveness becomes a means of preserving peace and dignity in the face of cognitive decline, a way to honor the humanity that resides within each individual, regardless of past transgressions.
Furthermore, forgiving bullies, haters, TERFs, and gender critical tormentors is a form of resistance—a rejection of the toxic narratives of hate and intolerance that seek to diminish the worth of transgender/nonbinary lives. It is a reaffirmation of the inherent value and dignity of all individuals, regardless of their gender identity or cognitive status.
By choosing forgiveness, trans/nonbinary individuals with dementia pave the way for healing and reconciliation, not only within themselves but within society at large. It is a courageous act of defiance against the forces of bigotry and ignorance, a testament to the transformative power of compassion and empathy.
In urging forgiveness, we acknowledge the complexity of the human experience—the capacity for both cruelty and redemption. We recognize that while the wounds of transphobic bullying may run deep, they need not define us. Through forgiveness, we embrace the possibility of healing and growth, forging a path towards a future where love and acceptance triumph over hate and division.
Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but of strength. It is a radical act of self-love and compassion—a refusal to be consumed by the darkness of hatred and resentment. For trans/nonbinary individuals living with dementia, forgiveness offers a path towards healing, reconciliation, and ultimately, liberation.